Showing Your Child How to be Grateful

     When my children were small, I began to teach them about being grateful. I wanted them to appreciate their family, their friends and people in general. I also wanted them to appreciate the fun times that we spent with these various people. I believed that they should be grateful for all that they had and all that they did in a day.

     

     I believe that I accomplished this in a couple of different ways. One of the ways was a grateful journal that we wrote in everyday for a while. This started about the time my daughter was three and my son was six years old. Of course, my three year old would just dictate to me what she was grateful for and I would write it into her journal. It wouldn’t have to be something life altering, it was more age appropriate and it was their thoughts, not mine. For example, “I am happy we went to the park today” or “I had a great time when Mack came over to play.”  Sometimes I would help them sort out their choices by going over what had occurred that day. Being grateful is a lesson learned over a lifetime (some people never learn) and the earlier you start the sooner you will notice their progress.

     

     I also chose a list of about ten favorite things: favorite food, TV show, animal, color, book, vegetable … (I think you get the gist of it) that we would fill in and then about four months later we would fill in the same list without looking at the previous list to see how our tastes had changed. This was also in the grateful journal.

     

     My daughter mentioned to me the other night how this had a lasting effect on her thought process. It is fun to have these conversations with her now that she is a grown up. I appreciate her honesty, smarts, and straightforward thinking.

     

     Another way that I taught my children to be grateful was to have them make/draw birthday cards for all of their aunts, uncles, and grandparents that attended their birthday parties. When the adults birthday date was coming up they sat at the table, I folded a paper in half and they created a unique card for those adults. I wanted them to understand from a very early age that these individuals were not required to give them a gift and remember their special day, but that they did it out of love.  My children, in turn, would remember these adults special birthday with something homemade that took them a bit of their time. I personally do not feel that just signing a purchased card is the same; I think they need to think about the person and how they relate to the family and be more specific on their personal “masterpiece.”

      

     During the weeks leading up to Christmas, my children would make a gift for their sets of aunts and uncles, and grandparents. I either came up with a craft item I had seen, or I bought a kit from Oriental Trading Co. (online) for them to make and wrap up for the adults. This took some planning and quite a bit of time, but they enjoyed surprising them with something that they made. I wanted them to understand early that Christmas is about giving and remembering special people in their lives, and not just about the presents that they receive.

     

     I have witnessed children just rip open all their presents not stopping to thank anyone. At the end they didn’t even know who had given them which present. I don’t find this a very desirable trait to have.  Yes, they are just children but that doesn't mean they can't behave and learn self control. If my children received a gift and the person who gave it was not at the party to thank in person, they needed to write a thank you card for that individual.

     These lessons can be learned at a young age. Children should not just feel they are entitled to what they are given. I believe that the card making and the craft making helped my children see these adults as people not just as presents.  They saw these people as individuals and learned the family connections. I feel they really do appreciate their extended family. The grateful journal helped them reflect on their daily lives and friends. It gave them an understanding and appreciation for how to live their lives.