The Benefits of Skillful Parenting for Both the Children and Adults

     Last weekend I took my daughter back to college for her sophomore year. This year was definitely much easier than last year. There are a couple of good reasons why it was easier. First of all, she knew what to pack and we had already purchased many of the larger and or necessary items like bedding, towels, refrigerator... Secondly, I already know that I can trust her decisions and that she will once again do great on her own. She proved this to me last year by taking care of herself when she got sick, attending her classes, doing her homework, and no underage drinking. Basically, taking care of anything that came up. And to top it off, she had a 4.0 grade point average both semesters. She found it to be a wonderful experience, had a great time and formed several new friendships.  

     One of the biggest reasons for her to buckle down and do the work is because she will be paying for the majority of her college herself. When you are paying your own way, you definitely don't want to be wasting your own money. Their are thousands of horror stories of kids that have gone to college only to party, not attend classes, and waste away $20,000.00 or more of their parents hard earned money.  Another thing about the college system is that many schools respect your child's privacy and don't allow parents access to their accounts or passwords. They are truly on their own. Of course, this can be worked out between you and your child to have the password to their accounts. 

     There are many ways in which I raised my children that have helped them to be self sufficient, to problem solve, to apply themselves to the task at hand and be good thoughtful people. 

     A very important lesson starting as a toddler was to respect and take care of their belongings. If they mistreated their toys and something was broken, I didn't run out and replace it. We talked about respecting books and toys, they weren't allowed to step all over them or throw them. They were taught to put them away when they were done with them.  "Teaching Children to Respect Their Possessions" from May, 2016.

     They learned to respect other peoples feelings and thoughts by sharing toys, taking turns, and treating others like they wanted to be treated. Sharing ideas when they were playing pretend and realizing that other children had ideas on how things should be played or built. Teaching them teamwork and listening to others. They showed respect in other people's homes, to coaches, to teachers and for other people's property. 

      One of the best gifts I gave them was teaching them how to handle money. And I started this at a very young age. Please see my blog "Teaching Your Child the Value of Money" from July of this year. It has helped them realize that everything needs to be earned. Money is not a free flowing, inexhaustible source. If you make the decision to follow the guidelines of that post, you have to make sure that you stick to it and they buy their own things. And that they learn to live with the unhappy choices of spender's remorse; which is the most important lesson. 

     I could actually pick out something from every blog idea that I have posted that has helped my children become the caring, decent people that they are today. I did the hard work not as their "friend" but as their "Mama" and I get to reap all of the rewards of them being my friend now as adults. They have both thanked me for the boundaries I set, teaching them to be respectful and giving them the skills they needed to make good decisions. They are funny, thoughtful, and wonderful to be around.  I am so very grateful!!!