Communication is such an important
aspect of our lives. We need to begin to communicate with our children at a very early age. First we are trying to figure out what their different little cries mean. It's funny
how you come to realize what your infant wants by their slightly different types of cries.
Communication is a learned skill; some people have learned to be great
communicators, while others never learn to communicate well.
We need to help our children learn the important skill of communication.
We begin this process by talking to them as infants. We should talk to them
constantly about everything that they see around them and about all the people that come into their lives.
When my children were infants and we would be up in the middle of the night for a feeding, I would tell them all about the members of their family. I would tell them their names, their birth dates, which person belonged with who, where they worked, and where they lived. Basically, I talked to my children about anything that came to mind. I told them about the library and what books meant to me. The different kinds of books and what type of adventures might be in the books. I was giving them vocabulary experiences.
As they began to coo and make sounds, I repeated the sounds they made back to them and smiled approvingly to encourage them to make more sounds. I would tell them about their feet, their eyes, their faces and their beautiful smiles. I would tell them that I loved when they talked. I would imitate what they were doing and they would imitate what I was doing and so goes the learning process. I was careful to never speak baby talk to them.
As they learned to sit up in the high chair, I told them about the different food groups and what consisted of a balanced meal. I spoke to them while I cooked and shared what I was doing. Sometimes giving them step by step instructions. I showed them what utensils I was using to cook their meal. Which exposed them to more and more words.
My children both began saying words between 5 and 8 months old. It was so exciting to have their little faces light up and hear their little voices. At times, prior to their using speech, I felt like I was talking myself silly but it truly paid off.
When my children started to say words, even if they mispronounced them I would acknowledge them by repeating the word they had spoken but properly. To avoid discouraging them from speaking I was careful not to criticize their pronunciation. I feel that if you tell them they are mispronouncing words often enough it will discourage them from trying. After all, we are expecting a small child to learn a language in a very short period of time.
It is important to use the proper words for items even if your children do not. I know it is often cute when they put a name to something but saying the proper name to them will help their vocabulary grow. We want them to advance in their speaking abilities as quickly as they are capable. It makes things so much easier when they can tell you what they need. It is so frustrating when they are crying as you try to figure out what might be wrong. The sooner they use a proper vocabulary, the sooner you are able to problem solve.
I continued to add to their vocabulary by repeating what they said to show them I was paying attention. If they said car, I might repeat it but add the color of the car. This would help them to distinguish the difference between that car and one of another color. Or I might say you have three cars and count them by pointing to each one. All of these ideas would give them new ways of looking at the same thing. I used every day experiences to educate them.
Reading to them was another important part of their learning experience. Not only would I read the book, but I would point to different pictures and tell them what they were. As we went through the book over and over, I would then quiz them on the items that I had previously pointed out. Then I would add colors and numbers to these conversations while we read books. It was so enjoyable to see their little faces light up as understanding would dawn on them.
The grocery store became an adventure. It was fun pointing out all the different items in the store. What food group the item belonged in, its color or what you might add to it to make a meal. To make grocery shopping a more pleasant experience my children sat buckled in the cart. From the start riding in the cart was our rule at the grocery store. I knew where they were, they didn't get in the way of other shoppers and we didn't get aggravated with each other by wanting to go in two different directions. They were my "shopping helpers." I handed them safe items to place in the cart. They held onto the list and often pretended to read off the items. I also allowed them to make some of the shopping choices. All the while I was increasing their vocabulary.
We discussed their feelings when they were learning to communicate so that if they were sad, happy, frustrated, tired, or hungry; they became capable of putting a name to the feeling. Attaching names to feelings was incredibly helpful in problem solving. This was a process; plenty of trial and error. The fact that we were learning to communicate with each other was wonderful.
My very best friend taught me by example that it was important to be straight forward with your children. She told them what was on her mind; she shared experiences and told them what she felt. The importance of age appropriate conversations with your children helps to insure the communication process. She has raised two wonderful sons and continues to have a very open relationship with them today.
If you choose not to listen to your children when they are young, they may fail to become comfortable telling you what is going on as they age. When they are expressing feelings or details of an occurrence and you don't take the time to listen, next time they might decide to find someone else to listen. It may be a peer with just as little experience as them; giving them council. We want to be available to help them make good life choices. If you skip this important step, you eventually may end up not knowing what is going on in your teen or adult child's life. They may choose not to share their problems with you and you will then miss the opportunity to guide them.
Communication is such a huge part of our development as well as a lifelong necessity. Teaching our children great communication skills benefits them their entire lives. Working hard to assure that our communication with our children reaches a comfortable level early in their lives may increase our chance of having a wonderful relationship with our children for a lifetime.
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