You want your child to be able to sleep under varying circumstances. It is not wise to make your baby's nap time dark and quiet. There will be times when you are away from home and you don't have anywhere quiet to put your child down for a nap. When they are raised with the expectation of dark and quiet, they lose their ability to fall asleep under noisy conditions. When this occurs both you and your child end up miserable. The freedom that you gain when your child can sleep in the stroller at the mall, at a family get together, doctor's appointment, out running errands...basically in any environment. Knowing that your child can get the sleep they need, while you escape the house for a while, will make both of you much happier people.
Your baby is new to this world, what you introduce them to, is what they know as truth. This means that you have the opportunity to set up their expectations. My mom told me not to start anything that I wasn't willing to do all the time. I was careful to start rituals instead of bad habits.
When I was babysitting as a teen, there was a mom that rocked each of her three girls in their beds for about fifteen minutes. She continued this each night even after they were five years old. It started with her oldest and became an expectation from the younger two. She was a stay at home mom, this additional forty-five minutes made her day very long. Patting or rocking for a few minutes is fine but babies need to actually figure out how to fall asleep on their own.
When my children were infants, I nursed them, burped them and put them down to sleep. When they were no longer nursing, I rocked and sang to them for a few minutes then placed them in their crib. I made sure they had their favorite comfort item (pacifier, blanket, or stuffed toy), I told them "night, night" and left the room. If they fussed, I spoke with them gently, resettled them but did not pick them up or remove them from the crib. If I returned again, I made sure they had their comfort item, resettled them, and patted their back for just a minute. Once again, old them "night, night" and left the room. I may have returned several times the first couple days but they soon understood bedtime was bedtime.
For this method to work, you need to be sure they are tired enough and that they have their favorite comfort item. Most importantly, once you have put them down for nap or the night, DO NOT take them back out of the crib. If they fuss, and don't settle themselves, build their confidence by letting them know that you are nearby. They need to know that when you tell them "night, night" that means time to go to sleep. If you take them back out of the crib, the next night they are going to expect the same, and the next, and the next. This becomes a vicious cycle, your child is upset and you are frustrated. You end up spending your evening trying to get your child to stay in their bed. Or they end up miserably crying themselves to sleep.
Bedtime should be a happy, peaceful time. The bed should never be used as a punishment or a threat if they are misbehaving. This would turn their bed into a negative instead of a positive place to spend time. Which may turn bedtime into an even bigger challenge.
When my daughter was fifteen or eighteen months and asked for water after she was in her crib, I put a sipper cup of water on the dresser next to the bed. I would hear her in the middle of the night, get a drink of water, restart her musical crib toy, and go back to sleep. She not only knew bedtime was bedtime but it was also building her confidence. The cup by the bed prevented one of the stalling tactics that many young children employ when they don't want to go to bed. It is important that you have covered all the stalling tactics prior to tucking them in and that they are sufficiently tired. Then the balance of the evening should be your own.
We never had an issue when it was time to move to a big bed versus a crib. They knew bedtime was bedtime and they didn't come back out once they were in bed. I always left their bedroom doors open so I would be able to hear them if they needed me. I told them while still in the crib at both nap and night time, to call me when they were awake and I would come to get them. I made sure in the morning when they called me; I responded that I was on my way. They knew that they could trust me to be there for them. Having them call out to me also prevented the worry of having a toddler wandering the house unsupervised.
When moving them to a big bed after the crib; be sure they are ready. Talk about it for a few weeks before you make the change. If they are already climbing out of the crib, you are going to have a tough time keeping them in a big bed. You may want to have discussions with them prior to making the move. You want to avoid lying down with them in their big bed to get them to stay in it. Allow them books, or stuffed animals but you don't want to become their "comfort item." Remember, it is their bedtime and not yours. If you feel they are mature enough to be in a big bed then they should be able to fall asleep on their own.
When they grew out of the rocking/singing stage, we switched to books as our bedtime ritual. If they were not quite ready for sleep they were allowed to look at extra books. But they stayed in the bed. I would later clear out the extra books, make sure they were covered and turn out the light.
When you tell your child that it is bedtime, you really need to mean what you say. Be careful not to give them mixed messages. You may have to work at it for a few days but ultimately you will save yourself a lot of frustration. Once they have been put to bed for nap or the night, they need to remain there. It may seem like no big deal to give them five more minutes but keep in mind that you are creating their expectations of how life works.
Your baby is new to this world, what you introduce them to, is what they know as truth. This means that you have the opportunity to set up their expectations. My mom told me not to start anything that I wasn't willing to do all the time. I was careful to start rituals instead of bad habits.
When I was babysitting as a teen, there was a mom that rocked each of her three girls in their beds for about fifteen minutes. She continued this each night even after they were five years old. It started with her oldest and became an expectation from the younger two. She was a stay at home mom, this additional forty-five minutes made her day very long. Patting or rocking for a few minutes is fine but babies need to actually figure out how to fall asleep on their own.
When my children were infants, I nursed them, burped them and put them down to sleep. When they were no longer nursing, I rocked and sang to them for a few minutes then placed them in their crib. I made sure they had their favorite comfort item (pacifier, blanket, or stuffed toy), I told them "night, night" and left the room. If they fussed, I spoke with them gently, resettled them but did not pick them up or remove them from the crib. If I returned again, I made sure they had their comfort item, resettled them, and patted their back for just a minute. Once again, old them "night, night" and left the room. I may have returned several times the first couple days but they soon understood bedtime was bedtime.
For this method to work, you need to be sure they are tired enough and that they have their favorite comfort item. Most importantly, once you have put them down for nap or the night, DO NOT take them back out of the crib. If they fuss, and don't settle themselves, build their confidence by letting them know that you are nearby. They need to know that when you tell them "night, night" that means time to go to sleep. If you take them back out of the crib, the next night they are going to expect the same, and the next, and the next. This becomes a vicious cycle, your child is upset and you are frustrated. You end up spending your evening trying to get your child to stay in their bed. Or they end up miserably crying themselves to sleep.
Bedtime should be a happy, peaceful time. The bed should never be used as a punishment or a threat if they are misbehaving. This would turn their bed into a negative instead of a positive place to spend time. Which may turn bedtime into an even bigger challenge.
When my daughter was fifteen or eighteen months and asked for water after she was in her crib, I put a sipper cup of water on the dresser next to the bed. I would hear her in the middle of the night, get a drink of water, restart her musical crib toy, and go back to sleep. She not only knew bedtime was bedtime but it was also building her confidence. The cup by the bed prevented one of the stalling tactics that many young children employ when they don't want to go to bed. It is important that you have covered all the stalling tactics prior to tucking them in and that they are sufficiently tired. Then the balance of the evening should be your own.
We never had an issue when it was time to move to a big bed versus a crib. They knew bedtime was bedtime and they didn't come back out once they were in bed. I always left their bedroom doors open so I would be able to hear them if they needed me. I told them while still in the crib at both nap and night time, to call me when they were awake and I would come to get them. I made sure in the morning when they called me; I responded that I was on my way. They knew that they could trust me to be there for them. Having them call out to me also prevented the worry of having a toddler wandering the house unsupervised.
When moving them to a big bed after the crib; be sure they are ready. Talk about it for a few weeks before you make the change. If they are already climbing out of the crib, you are going to have a tough time keeping them in a big bed. You may want to have discussions with them prior to making the move. You want to avoid lying down with them in their big bed to get them to stay in it. Allow them books, or stuffed animals but you don't want to become their "comfort item." Remember, it is their bedtime and not yours. If you feel they are mature enough to be in a big bed then they should be able to fall asleep on their own.
When they grew out of the rocking/singing stage, we switched to books as our bedtime ritual. If they were not quite ready for sleep they were allowed to look at extra books. But they stayed in the bed. I would later clear out the extra books, make sure they were covered and turn out the light.
When you tell your child that it is bedtime, you really need to mean what you say. Be careful not to give them mixed messages. You may have to work at it for a few days but ultimately you will save yourself a lot of frustration. Once they have been put to bed for nap or the night, they need to remain there. It may seem like no big deal to give them five more minutes but keep in mind that you are creating their expectations of how life works.
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